A lot of my friends had a baby within the last year. Seeing tiny fingers and toes. I am excited for all of them. It is just a special moment in their lives. Most of my friends already have a child or more. Looking at the pictures on their facebook page, I’m always amazed by how fast their kids grew up. Time never stops speeding. Seven years ago, I was hanging out with different groups of friends. Now they all are married and having children. Does it bother me to watch my friends get married and raise children? Yes and no.
A friend of mine asked me, “Have you thought about your future children?” Not much. Whenever I think about starting a family or what type of lifestyle, I get discouraged and depressed. Every year seems to become harder. My muscles make everything more difficult. It is harder for people to dress me. It is harder to eat my food. Who would want to put all of the extra burden on their spouse? That question had come across my mind. That is one of the reasons I haven’t been on a date. There are different programs where people like me can get extra help. Another question also popped up, what is the purpose of marriage if I can’t bring happiness and joy to my future wife? Also to my future children?
Another friend gets really discouraged by the thought he’ll ever find a person who wants to date him. Honestly I feel the same way. I am not the most handsome man in the world. I don’t have a lot of knowledge to entertain people. Most women don’t talk to me like any other men. Every lady has her own view of me. While it is true that I am unique and different, however my characteristics don’t meet a lot of women’s expectations. How many people ask someone with a disability out on a date? Probably not many.
We as disability human beings are always proving who we are and what we can do. Our dream of finding the right person and getting married is not hopeless. It is more challenging. If we want it more than anything, we’ll find someone who looks past our disabilities and loves us. There are thousands of people who married a person with a disability. I can imagine a huge majority of them say, “Getting married and having children was worth all of the extra burden.” A lot of my friends would tell me the same thing.